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30 Pickups

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[May. 13th, 2006|06:13 pm]
30 Pickups


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Title: Surprise!
Author: velvetdagger
Pairing: Fred X George
Rating: R
Warnings: Slash and some smut, but not that much.
Summary: Someone's making noises in the common room, and a pissed-off, sleep-deprived Hermione's going to find out who ... and after wish she hadn't.
A/N: Response to sara_shunu's Fanfic Challenge. First fic, please be nice. 


Hermione had had a very bad day.

Not only did she wake up late and miss breakfast, she got into a shouting match with Ron, was late for two classes, got teased by that horrible git Malfoy, and stained her brand-new robes.

But what was really making her blood boil was that, despite the completely nasty day she'd had, she was denied the simple pleasure of sleep because someone was making horrid noises in the common room. And she was the only one to hear them.

Livid, she threw back her covers and stalked across the room, yanking the door open so hard the hinges creaked. She then proceeded to stomp down the stairs, the noises getting louder with each step. Hermione recognized them now, moans and sucking noises and pants.

There were people making out (and possibly more!) in the common room, and if that wasn't bad enough, they couldn't keep themselves quiet enough for her to sleep!

She entered the common room like a banshee, full of righteous anger.  She took a huge breath to scream-

-when in the dying embers of the fire, she saw who was making the noise.

Hermione's eyes bugged out of her head, and her breath exited her mouth in a whoosh. The pair currently occupying one of the armchairs didn't even notice, too caught up in their activities.

George (or was it Fred?  Blast it, it didn't really matter at the moment) was not only straddling and making out with someone, but that someone was his own twin brother.

Fred didn't seem to be complaining, as his hands (dear God!) were cupping George's ass and grinding the other boy against him. George had his tongue halfway down Fred's throat, and she didn't even want to know where his hands were.

Suddenly, and oblivious to her and her growing horror, they broke apart, panting heavily.

"Hey, Fred," George muttered, his voice rough and husky.

Hermione swallowed hard. Twice.

Fred gave him a look, one that screamed: "you bloody fool, don't stop!" He pulled George against him once more.

"What?" Hermione was forced to swallow again, as Fred had the same voice as George, except his was tinged with the impatience.

George merely grinned and nuzzled Fred's ear. His next words were nearly too low to hear, but in the empty common room, Hermione heard them just fine.

He pouted, snuggled up closer to Fred, and purred, "I miss my teddy bear. Can I sleep with you?"

Hermione choked on air, eyes (if possible) widening more.

Fred pushed his nose against George's, a wicked grin on his face,"I'll suck you so hard you'll have to pick the sheets out of your ass when I'm finished.

A muffled thump broke through their anticipation.  George quickly twisted around, while Fred craned his neck past his twin.

Hermione lay slumped on the floor, unconscious, her face whiter than Nearly Headless Nick's.

The twins blinked, then blushed lightly as they (identical) thought processes ran over what she might have seen/heard.

They then simultaneously glanced at each other and grinned, part shame and part embarrassment.

"... Well, THAT cat's out of the bag, isn't it?"


[User Picture]From: sara_shunu
2006-05-14 04:39 am (UTC)

I love it! Very sexy twincesty images. You are really good at showing how naughty yet hot it is.
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[User Picture]From: velvetdagger
2006-05-14 03:56 pm (UTC)
Really?! >//.//< Thank you so much! The FIRST people I thought of were Fred and George when I read the lines. ^^ They just seemed like the type to say something totally random.

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[User Picture]From: merely_a_facade
2006-05-14 06:54 pm (UTC)
Ha ha. This was cute. [:

Poor Hermione.
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[User Picture]From: velvetdagger
2006-05-14 10:22 pm (UTC)
I wouldn't mind being in Hermione's position ... or Fred's ... or George's for that matter. (lol)

Love your icon!

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[User Picture]From: sara_shunu
2006-05-15 06:03 am (UTC)
lol. I so agree. I wouldnt mind being inbetween fred and george either.. mrawr...
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[User Picture]From: confiteor_3
2006-05-16 12:03 am (UTC)
*ignores the fact that it's incest but moreso ignores the fact that the fic wasn't squicky to her even though incesty ones used to be*
Ooh, this is so funny! And, aww, Hermione. She was too halareous. Great job! :)
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[User Picture]From: velvetdagger
2006-05-17 01:35 am (UTC)
Thank you! And I used to think incest was squicky too ... but yeah. I was laughing out loud when I was writing Hermione's part. It just seemed SO funny to me, liberal-minded Hermione fainting because of a little twincest. (lol)

*VD* (is secretly jumping up and down because she got four whole comments, including sara_shunu's second comment >_<)
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