“They’re not there!”
James stumbled as he took the last stairs up to their room. “What do you mean, ‘not there’?”
“As in, ‘not in this room’, or at least I can’t see them…- Whatever, half a bottle more for us!” Sirius concluded happily.
“Shouldn’t we wonder where they are?”
“That’s what you’re doing this very moment, James: wondering where they are. Alright, I’ll help you a bit: Moony is at the library and Peter is off trying to seduce Lily.”
“As if… Anyway, maybe we can find some evidence where they are in this room.”
“We can find them in this room or in this room we can find clues to where to find them…?”
“Sometimes you’re so awfully cheery it’s hard to stand.”
“Don’t frown, James!”
“I’m not frowning.”
“No, really - don’t. I’ll even help you for real now, so you won’t have to worry your pretty little head off. Hmm… “ Sirius mused for a moment “I know! Maybe they’re under their beds!”
James like he didn’t know whether to laugh or tell Sirius to think more rationally.
“Nope,” said Sirius from underneath Peter’s bed.
“Alright, alright” James seemed to have made his decision and started laughing. “I shut up – you shut up.” He sat down on the floor, leaning against his bed.
“And if - Hey!” Sirius stopped half-way through his sentence. “What’s that?”
“What?” asked James curiously, trying to catch a glimpse of what had caught Sirius’ attention. Sirius walked back over to him and dropped himself on the floor, a small black leather book in his hand.
“What is it?”
“It was under Peter’s bed.”
“I hardly think he’s keeping a journal…”
Sirius opened the book, studied some lines and instantly started laughing.
“What? What is it?”
Sirius kept it out of his reach, and read aloud, “’I miss my teddy bear, can I sleep with you?’”
“What? “ James repeated, giving him a funny look.
Sirius started laughing when James reached for the book again. Eventually he snatched it out of his hands.
“ ‘I’m vegetarian but I’d make an exception for your meat’ ?That’s awful!” He flipped further through the pages. “The whole bleeding book is filled with those.”
“What would Peter do with a book like that? It’s not like he’s got anyone to use it on.”
“Not that they’d work anyway… - Who do you think he wants to try them on?”
“Well, James, as I suggested Lily is… Oh! I get it now. Did you never wonder where he and Moony go when they suddenly disappear?”
“Eh… Sirius, that never happens.”
Sirius frowned. “What about now, then?”
“Give me the bottle” said James suddenly.
Sirius handed the drink to him, an amused look on his face.
“I need to drink away that mental image you just created.”
“Of Wormtail and Moony?”
James nodded as he swallowed.
“What are they doing? Wanking off together or… something else?” said Sirius mischievously.
“Ha, no need worry. I highly doubt they’d do that. …I don’t think Pete is his type.”
“How would you know?”
After a moment of silence, Sirius spoke again, changing the subject. “How would you do it?”
“I mean, you said all those pick-up lines wouldn’t work but if “’I'm on top of things. Want to be one of them?’” doesn’t, what does?”
James looked at him surprised, so Sirius added “I mean for you. Not like I’m asking for your advice. I’m just wondering what you’d say... Not that it matters but, you know…”
“I… I don’t know. Just normal stuff…- You know all the girls I went out with.”
“Yeah, but I don’t know everything you said to them in private.”
“What do you think I say to them in private? Nothing like - ” James picked up the book again and cited, “ ‘I'm not a slut, I'm just that popular. Wanna fuck me and be the big man on campus?’”
“I actually kind of like that one” Sirius admitted with a shrug and a small laugh.
“Well I can see you using it, too”
“As long as it works…. “
“It only works because those girls never know you.”
“What do you mean?” said Serious frowning a bit.
“Don’t look so confused. You know what I mean. Anyone who knows you past the first impression-charm of yours wouldn’t fall for you.”
“What makes you think so?” Sirius asked, slightly shocked.
“I know you better than anyone else does and because of that I know how much rubbish you talk. If any of those girls knew, you’d be fucked. Or, well, rather, not.”
Sirius considered this for a moment. “So you say you wouldn’t ‘fall’ for ‘it’, would you?”
“Oh, I definitely wouldn’t.”
James laughed. “How the hell do you want me to do that?”
“Well, I can just try.”
“Try to make you ‘fall’ for me”
Now James roared with laughter.
“I mean it.”
“Well, if your ‘theory’ is right, you’ve got nothing to worry about.”
“You actually do mean it.”
“What have you got to lose?”
“Nothing, but…” James laughed again, although this time a hint of nervousness hidden in his voice. “You really aren’t kidding, are you? Well…” He hesitated, laughed again and finally agreed. “Well, go on then.”
Sirius sat still.
“Oh, shut up.” James rolled his eyes. Suddenly he felt Sirius move closer to his side, his friend’s shoulder pressed to his own.
“James… you know how much you mean to me.” His voice was calm and he spoke slowly now which he probably thought of as more convincing.
James sniggered as his form of an answer.
“Are you incapable of speaking?”
“Er, well. Yes…I do know you’re my best friend and all, but really… How do you think this is supposed to work? I mean, I am aware of what you’re trying to do…”
“I know what I do” said Sirius, ever assured. “All you gotta do to make it work is be yourself. That’s what I’m doing, too.”
“O-kay....” said James disbelievingly.
“Well, as you just said - you are my dearest friend and I’m so happy you exist. My first thoughts in the morning are always involving you. Whether I’ve got to tell you something or just because I worry about you.”
James snorted. “Alright, stop it. Like I’ll take that from you, me being the first thing you think of in the morning, ha - Shit, Serious, don’t look at me all sad like that. You wouldn’t have believed that yourself.”
Sirius bit his lip. “So what do I think of when I wake up in the Shrieking Shack if I’m not worrying about you, Remus and Peter?”
James looked uncomfortable now as Sirius went on. “If it wasn’t for you and…Oh Merlin!” He got up, pacing through the room. “This is stupid — and humiliating.”
“But…” James stopped himself, he really didn’t know what to say.
“Really, why would you listen to me now? You’ve got all one could ask for. You’re popular, you ‘ve got a loving family, the girl you’ve obsessed over for years as your girlfriend and… I sound so pathetic!” Sirius halted. “Fuck it” he mumbled and sat down again. “You are right, this doesn’t… That’s so messed up.”
“You ‘re popular, too…” James tried, concerned about his friend’s strange behaviour, worried Sirius might just start crying if he continued - which was something he normally didn’t have to worry about. Maybe you’re too brilliant at acting for your own good.”
Sirius groaned. “You’re so daft.”
“What?” asked James, confused.
“Nothing” muttered Sirius. “Oh, bloody hell.” He got up on his knees and grabbed the half-emptied bottle. After drinking a fair amount he put it down again, positioning himself in front of James. Despite Sirius’ grumpy facial expression James laughed (or, rather this made him laugh). “Are you not giving up?”
Sirius put his hands on James’ shoulders. Anger made him breathe heavily, although it was not clear if he was angry with himself or with James, who still looked very amused. “What are you doing? Rape doesn’t count.”
Sirius glared at him, a glare James had only seen on the rare occasions when Sirius talked about something concerning his own family.
Still James laughed again which provocated Sirius even more. Forcefully he pressed his lips against James’ and wiped away the amused look on his face. In less than a second of time Sirius retreated studying James like an artist studies a painting that he’s not fully satisfied with.
Maybe even more shocking than this quick brush of a kiss, James found when Sirius let go off his shoulders, was one hand wandering to James’ cheek, brushing it not-so-gently, the other hand getting a firm grip around James’ neck. Sirius studied his friend’s face and all he found was surprise and confusion.
“Whatever” Sirius mumbled before leaning in again. This time, slowly and carefully, he parted his lips against James’, forcing him to do the same. This time Sirius didn’t stop so quickly.
His fingers tangled up in James’ hair and would not let go.
There they sat - two best friends, tasting the other’s warm breath.. Sirius felt hands on his waist and the weight of James leaning against him and kissing him back.
Hands touching body parts that had been touched before, in the utmost innocence.
In a sudden movement James broke away from the kiss, put his hands on Sirius chest and shoved him away.
“I heard something.”
Sirius, breathing heavily, turned around. “There’s no one.”
James got up and walked to the door. He listened for a second, then pushed it open and stared into Peter’s surprised face.
“What are you doing here?“
“In our dorm? “ Peter asked confused.
“No, why are you standing outside?”
“I heard someone moaning and thought - ” He actually blushed.
“Who was moaning?” Sirius asked from the floor, rather exited.
“I think it was you…- ”
James looked amused. “So you walk up the stairs, accidentally hear Sirius moan and instead of going in to check – he could have been hurt and suffering! - you decide to just stay there in front of the door.”
“I … didn’t want to disturb him. How could I’ve known you were in here too?”
Sirius got up and embraced James from behind. “Don’t worry, Pete. James helped me out perfectly.”
“Eh…” Peter looked at his smirking friends unsure. “Glad you’re better than… I just wanted to get something. I’ll be out in a minute.”
“What is it you have to get?”
“Oh, just some book- ”